Sunday, December 21, 2008

Pakai Bomoh...?

“Lengang sahaja gerai-gerai makanan di sini? Minggu lepas saya datang ke sini saya lihat ramai pelanggan pada waktu begini.” sapa Azmin kepada seorang pelayan yang membawakannya makanan dan minuman yang dipesannya.

”Memang betul pelanggan semakin berkurangan. Mereka lari ke restoran di seberang jalan sana.” balas pelayan tersebut sambil menunjukkan restoran tersebut.

”Sejak restoran itu dibuka, ramai peniaga di sini mengeluh. Pendapatan harian kami semakin berkurangan, ’ sambung pelayan itu tanpa dipinta. Kelihatan wajah kekecewaan di wajahnya. Azmin sekadar merenung restoran itu yang kelihatan tidak putus-putus dikunjungi pelanggan.

”Saya mesti ajar mereka!” Azam Azmin di dalam hati. Tanpa sedar dia menepuk kuat meja makannya sehingga tertumpah air yang dipesannya tadi.

* * *

”Apa hajat anak datang berjumpa saya?” Datuk Bomoh serius bertanya kepada Azmin yang bersila di hadapannya. Asap kemenyan daripada bekas bara kelihatan berkepul-kepul mengisi ruang di antara mereka.

”Saya mahu Datuk Bomoh jatuhkan perniagaan seseorang.” tegas Azmin tanpa ragu. Tersenyum-senyum Datuk Bomoh itu mendengarnya sambil mengurut-ngurut janggut tebalnya.

”Boleh, pasti boleh. Namun jika anak tidak keberatan, boleh beritahu mengapa anak mahu menjatuhkan perniagaan orang itu?” Datuk Bomoh melanjutkan pertanyaannya. Dipotongnya limau nipis dengan keris usang yang berbalut kain kuning.

Kini giliran Azmin tersenyum. Diperkemaskan silanya lalu membalas, ”Jika perniagaan orang itu ditutup, saya percaya ramai peniaga lain yang lain dapat cari makan Datuk Bomoh.”

Berkerut dahi Datuk Bomoh mendengarnya. ”Anak ini bukan seorang peniaga?”

”Saya bukan peniaga, saya bekerja di sebuah bank di bandar Maharani.” Balas Azmin jujur.

”Jika kamu bukan peniaga, mengapa kamu mahu menjatuhkan perniagaan orang lain? Kamu tidak ada untung apa-apa.” tingkah Datuk Bomoh. Dimasukkan kerisnya ke dalam sarung.

”Begini sebenarnya, saya kasihan melihat peniaga-peniaga makanan di situ. Sejak restoran itu dibuka, pendapatan mereka semakin berkurangan. Saya sekadar ingin menolong mereka melalui Datuk Bomoh.” Balas Azmin cuba menyakinkan Datuk Bomoh.

”Baiklah, kerana niat kamu ingin menolong orang saya akan bantu. Namun ada pengerasnya. Mesti bayar, jika tidak bayar tidak menjadi.” Datuk Bomoh mengingatkan Azmin.

”Tidak ada masalah. Niat saya ikhlas.” Jamin Azmin.

”Baiklah, saya perlukan nama pemilik restoran itu dan nama restoran tersebut.” pinta Tok Bomoh. Dicabutnya keris dari sarungnya , ditaburnya kemenyan. Semerbak bau menerjah deria hidu Azmin.

”Nama pemilik saya tidak pasti namun nama restoran itu saya ingat betul” balas Azmin jujur.

”Jika begitu tidak mengapalah. Beritahu saya nama restoran itu.” Datuk Bomoh bertanya sambil membawakan mukanya dekat dengan muka Azmin.

Azmin membalas, ”Nama restorannya McDonald dan Kentucky Fried Chicken. Boleh?”

Merah padam muka Datuk Bomoh mendengarnya.
* * *

Moral Cerita

* Jangan percayakan bomoh, pawang atau dukun. Syirik. Salah satu daripada dosa besar.
* Kalau bomoh itu betul-betul handal, kenapa tidak ada yang berjaya jatuhkan rangkaian restoran besar?
* Amalkanlah konsept D.U.I.T. (Doa, Usaha, Ikhtiar dan Tawakal).

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

The Soldier and the Nun (Spicy Joke)

A soldier ran up to a nun. Out of breath he asked, 'Please, may I hide under your skirt. I'll explain later.'

The nun agreed. A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked, Sister, have you seen a soldier?'

The nun replied, 'He went that way.'

After the MPs ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said, 'I can't thank you enough Sister. You see, I don't want to go to Iraq ..'

The nun said, 'I understand completely.'

The soldier added, 'I hope I'm not rude, but you have a great pair of legs!'

The nun replied, 'If you had looked a little higher, you would have seen a great pair of balls....I don't want to go to Iraq either.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Don't complain about job...








Monday, October 13, 2008

Too Many Muslims...


Friday, October 10, 2008

Husband's Affair


Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Computer Diagnosis


''Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10." Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks."

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Smart & funny love letter


1 "The great love that I have for you
2 is gone, and I find my dislike for you
3 grows every day. When I see you,
4 I do not even like your face;
5 the one thing that I want to do is to
6 look at other girls. I never wanted to
7 marry you. Our last conversation
8 was very boring and has not
9 made me look forward to seeing you again.
10 You think only of yourself.
11 If we were married, I know that I would find
12 life very difficult, and I would have no
13 pleasure in living with you. I have a heart
14 to give, but it is not something that
15 I want to give to you. No one is more
16 foolish and selfish than you, and you are not
17 able to care for me and help me.
18 I sincerely want you to understand that
19 I speak the truth. You will do me a favor
20 if you think this is the end. Do not try
21 to answer this. Your letters are full of
22 things that do not interest me. You have no
23 true love for me. Good-bye! Believe me,
24 I do not care for you. Please do not think that
25 I am still your boyfriend."